14 April 2022
23 February 2013
I'm workong on a New Book
It has been a while since my last post. I've been working hard.
I have been working on a book for IT consultants, particulary business analysts, tentatively titled Your Clients Are Lying to You. It covers what clients misunderstand, mis-state, and don't think of when discussing their requirements. It also convers simple techniques to minimize the problem and improve results for everyone involved.
I will need beta-readers to review and provide feedback on the book. If you'd like a free draft copy (pdf) in exchange for your feedback, let me know in the comments. I'll post a table of contents shortly, so you will have an idea what to expect.
I have been working on a book for IT consultants, particulary business analysts, tentatively titled Your Clients Are Lying to You. It covers what clients misunderstand, mis-state, and don't think of when discussing their requirements. It also convers simple techniques to minimize the problem and improve results for everyone involved.
I will need beta-readers to review and provide feedback on the book. If you'd like a free draft copy (pdf) in exchange for your feedback, let me know in the comments. I'll post a table of contents shortly, so you will have an idea what to expect.
15 December 2011
What Do I Lose When I'm "Lost in Thought" (If Anything)? Exploring Tibetan Meditation Assignment #7
When I'm "lost in thought" I lose awareness of the immediate environment's sensory input. Thoughts interpolate between my awareness and the world. Logically, the "space" between the thoughts must exist in that immediate environment. When the the thoughts "hook" me, I go deeper inside and away from present sensory input. My emotional responses become based on internal events instead of my current experience.
This week looked for the empty spot where thoughts happen. I focused on my posture and my exhalations and let the inhalations take care of themselves.
Break
I had to take a one month break. My mood had started slipping into depression and my sleep had started to suffer. Once I stopped meditating, my mood and sleep began to improve. Not a good sign for this experiment in meditation.
Day #1
Neutral mood and mild irritability.
My mid-back donated its hot pain to my attention pool. How generous of it. And my right knee objected strenuously to the meditation position.
As I looked for the space between the thoughts, I began to wonder: is that space the same as the full sensory awareness of now?
Throughout the meditation time, I rehearsed conversations and planned my notes for this blog. I thought about sex. And I even had a vision of an embryonic reptilian head and eye coming out of my side. Extremely cool!
Day #2
Neutral mood and mild irritability.
From my navel down tonight, my posture felt solid. From there upwards I sat OK but tight and tense.
My hooks often seem to involve pre-writing these entries, rehearsing conversations, planning work activities, and occasional visualizations.
Day #3
Good mood with no irritability or anxiety.
Today I had good, balanced and pretty relaxed posture.
I kept re-hashing and re-writing dinner conversation where one of the women decided I had "accidental game" with women. It made for interesting review of my past from a different perspective from the usual ones. I allowed my brain to freely flow and associate and I ended up back in the present sensory world. Pretty cool.
Day #4
Neutral mood with no anxiety or irritability.
I had posture like a rock, but ready. My inner warrior woke back up. Finally.
I had moments where the cascade of thoughts pulled me along. They triggered off each other in flashing tangents.
Other times I felt the pull and stepped back to watch it happen. Then I'd realize I'd gotten hooked into the "objective observer" loop.
Sometimes I'd even be aware of the current environment. The space between all of these did not seem to exist.
Either I sparked along with my thoughts, associations and further thoughts, or I was observing them, or I sensed the present stimuli. I found no space between any of it. It just shifted around as triggers fired.
Day #5
Good mood with no irritability or anxiety.
My inner warrior showed up again, aware and ready.
I realized, in one of my runs of thoughts, my warrior-ness fits for work too. My weapons are Visio, Word and Excel. My footwork comes from my questions.
I see I can apply the metaphor to other life areas as well. This will prove interesting.
I felt calm and ready. I felt good about this session.
Day #6
Neutral mood with no irritability or anxiety.
Thought chains flowed around kali, taihenjutsu, Knevitt and Gordon versus Eddie Lewis (from Texas, not my awesome teacher from the University of Regina), work emails and pre-writing this.
I had a sore mid-back and a tight neck.
Is the empty space maybe that within which the thoughts occur?
Day #7
Neutral mood and moderate anxiety.
My common-law wife and I discussed our situation and our possible solutions today. Thoughts on this came up a few times, as did thoughts on how, and with whom, to discuss it. I would normally discuss this serious an issue with her, but the issue lies between us.
I felt some soreness just below my scapulae and I had difficult with the time. My phone acted up so I had to use my watch's timer. I didn't know how, exactly.
Brief thoughts of work popped up. The rest of the time I spent expanding my awareness of the immediate environment.
A Request
I would really appreciate your comments on this journey, my thoughts and my conclusions. Please leave a comment or two.
Thank you in advance.
This week looked for the empty spot where thoughts happen. I focused on my posture and my exhalations and let the inhalations take care of themselves.
Break
I had to take a one month break. My mood had started slipping into depression and my sleep had started to suffer. Once I stopped meditating, my mood and sleep began to improve. Not a good sign for this experiment in meditation.
Day #1
Neutral mood and mild irritability.
My mid-back donated its hot pain to my attention pool. How generous of it. And my right knee objected strenuously to the meditation position.
As I looked for the space between the thoughts, I began to wonder: is that space the same as the full sensory awareness of now?
Throughout the meditation time, I rehearsed conversations and planned my notes for this blog. I thought about sex. And I even had a vision of an embryonic reptilian head and eye coming out of my side. Extremely cool!
Day #2
Neutral mood and mild irritability.
From my navel down tonight, my posture felt solid. From there upwards I sat OK but tight and tense.
My hooks often seem to involve pre-writing these entries, rehearsing conversations, planning work activities, and occasional visualizations.
Day #3
Good mood with no irritability or anxiety.
Today I had good, balanced and pretty relaxed posture.
I kept re-hashing and re-writing dinner conversation where one of the women decided I had "accidental game" with women. It made for interesting review of my past from a different perspective from the usual ones. I allowed my brain to freely flow and associate and I ended up back in the present sensory world. Pretty cool.
Day #4
Neutral mood with no anxiety or irritability.
I had posture like a rock, but ready. My inner warrior woke back up. Finally.
I had moments where the cascade of thoughts pulled me along. They triggered off each other in flashing tangents.
Other times I felt the pull and stepped back to watch it happen. Then I'd realize I'd gotten hooked into the "objective observer" loop.
Sometimes I'd even be aware of the current environment. The space between all of these did not seem to exist.
Either I sparked along with my thoughts, associations and further thoughts, or I was observing them, or I sensed the present stimuli. I found no space between any of it. It just shifted around as triggers fired.
Day #5
Good mood with no irritability or anxiety.
My inner warrior showed up again, aware and ready.
I realized, in one of my runs of thoughts, my warrior-ness fits for work too. My weapons are Visio, Word and Excel. My footwork comes from my questions.
I see I can apply the metaphor to other life areas as well. This will prove interesting.
I felt calm and ready. I felt good about this session.
Day #6
Neutral mood with no irritability or anxiety.
Thought chains flowed around kali, taihenjutsu, Knevitt and Gordon versus Eddie Lewis (from Texas, not my awesome teacher from the University of Regina), work emails and pre-writing this.
I had a sore mid-back and a tight neck.
Is the empty space maybe that within which the thoughts occur?
Day #7
Neutral mood and moderate anxiety.
My common-law wife and I discussed our situation and our possible solutions today. Thoughts on this came up a few times, as did thoughts on how, and with whom, to discuss it. I would normally discuss this serious an issue with her, but the issue lies between us.
I felt some soreness just below my scapulae and I had difficult with the time. My phone acted up so I had to use my watch's timer. I didn't know how, exactly.
Brief thoughts of work popped up. The rest of the time I spent expanding my awareness of the immediate environment.
A Request
I would really appreciate your comments on this journey, my thoughts and my conclusions. Please leave a comment or two.
Thank you in advance.
14 November 2011
Sitting Still Counting Breaths While My Back and Neck Burn - Week #5
On day six this week, my mind became wider than my body. The flickers of light and
movement in the room triggered thoughts the same way the ideas in my
internal verbal diarrhea and imagery did. I experienced the obvious
connection between the stimuli, internal and external, and the thoughts
that arose. Outside or inside, the location of the stimuli made no
difference.
This week, when I focused on counting the breaths, it made it fairly easy to stay focused. On my first day I struggled with posture. I also kept finding my attention caught by the television in the other room. I could identify thoughts triggered by external stimuli, but thoughts triggered internally often snuck past my awareness.
Day two involved a lot of effort disengaging from Conan on the TV in the next room. My upper back, neck and head challenged my focus. Riding the breath counts helped.
I missed days three, four and five. I found my exhaustion levels too high over these days and felt sleep would serve me better than sitting still counting my breaths while my back and neck burn from discomfort.
The work I did with weights on day six seemed to make my neck and upper back problems worse. I did add a second pillow to change the angle of my legs, pelvis and back. That softened my sore spots. I kept my eyes open and aimed downward at a forty-five degree angle with wide peripheral focus.
I applied neurological theory to my distracting thoughts. If I tried to force them away, they bounced back up like a water mattress when you try to climb on to it in the pool. But, if I re-directed my thoughts, I trained them to smooth out. So I imagined picking up a large, soft, thin cloth on an inhale. Then I smoothed it out over the surface of a pool on the exhale. This worked very well.
After a break, I tried to think as many thoughts as possible, as fast as possible. I moved my inner and outer eyes over things quickly and labeled as many different parts as I could. This strategy worked.
On the final day of this week, I had to-do items rattle through my mind on every inhale. The focus on the breath number on the exhale cleared my thoughts, though. My posture with the extra pillow reduced the burning in most of my upper back. Afterwards, I captured all the to-do items to get them out of my head.
This week, when I focused on counting the breaths, it made it fairly easy to stay focused. On my first day I struggled with posture. I also kept finding my attention caught by the television in the other room. I could identify thoughts triggered by external stimuli, but thoughts triggered internally often snuck past my awareness.
Day two involved a lot of effort disengaging from Conan on the TV in the next room. My upper back, neck and head challenged my focus. Riding the breath counts helped.
I missed days three, four and five. I found my exhaustion levels too high over these days and felt sleep would serve me better than sitting still counting my breaths while my back and neck burn from discomfort.
The work I did with weights on day six seemed to make my neck and upper back problems worse. I did add a second pillow to change the angle of my legs, pelvis and back. That softened my sore spots. I kept my eyes open and aimed downward at a forty-five degree angle with wide peripheral focus.
I applied neurological theory to my distracting thoughts. If I tried to force them away, they bounced back up like a water mattress when you try to climb on to it in the pool. But, if I re-directed my thoughts, I trained them to smooth out. So I imagined picking up a large, soft, thin cloth on an inhale. Then I smoothed it out over the surface of a pool on the exhale. This worked very well.
After a break, I tried to think as many thoughts as possible, as fast as possible. I moved my inner and outer eyes over things quickly and labeled as many different parts as I could. This strategy worked.
On the final day of this week, I had to-do items rattle through my mind on every inhale. The focus on the breath number on the exhale cleared my thoughts, though. My posture with the extra pillow reduced the burning in most of my upper back. Afterwards, I captured all the to-do items to get them out of my head.
11 October 2011
How Do You Know You're Enlightened?
When you drop a stone in a pond, ripples radiate outward from the centre. A tree that falls in the forest also radiates waves of vibration outward. The falling tree changes the sunlight available to nearby plants and, of course, the tree body decays.
Life works exactly the same way. Within each moment, previous moments have left their traces. Someone who pays attention can perceive these traces. The more traces you perceive, the more you can incorporate the needs of the moment into the moment. Those needs include your own.
So, when you achieve enlightenment, you perceive (see, hear, smell, taste, feel, etc) the broad field of the moment until you need to focus on specifics. Your awareness stays in peripheral mode. If you need to identify a detail or remember something specific, you zero in on the information you want.
You feel pain, fear, excitement, pleasure and all the primary emotions. You have not become a god. You still have needs, wants and goals. You simply discard distractions as they arise and concentrate your attention into the top priority of now. You rest in empty awareness.
But...
"Now" contains the traces of the past and the future. If you know where you want to go, you can spot the subtle signs of the route forward. And you can identify the obstacles from the past you have carried into this moment.
If you just want to enjoy the journey, you will find the seeds right now. And if you really pay attention, you can see the same things for everyone involved in the moment with you.
When you shift freely between focused, peripheral, internal and external awareness and include a balance of the needs of the moment and your own needs, you're there.
Life works exactly the same way. Within each moment, previous moments have left their traces. Someone who pays attention can perceive these traces. The more traces you perceive, the more you can incorporate the needs of the moment into the moment. Those needs include your own.
So, when you achieve enlightenment, you perceive (see, hear, smell, taste, feel, etc) the broad field of the moment until you need to focus on specifics. Your awareness stays in peripheral mode. If you need to identify a detail or remember something specific, you zero in on the information you want.
You feel pain, fear, excitement, pleasure and all the primary emotions. You have not become a god. You still have needs, wants and goals. You simply discard distractions as they arise and concentrate your attention into the top priority of now. You rest in empty awareness.
But...
"Now" contains the traces of the past and the future. If you know where you want to go, you can spot the subtle signs of the route forward. And you can identify the obstacles from the past you have carried into this moment.
If you just want to enjoy the journey, you will find the seeds right now. And if you really pay attention, you can see the same things for everyone involved in the moment with you.
When you shift freely between focused, peripheral, internal and external awareness and include a balance of the needs of the moment and your own needs, you're there.
27 September 2011
Exploring Tibetan Meditation - Assignment #4
My sense of self-will seems to over-ride my ability to observe myself as
transient. I can perceive auditory digital and visual thoughts as arising out of
nothing, but my breath causes a problem. I cannot NOT breathe
consciously during meditation. I do every aspect of my breathing deliberately.
I missed days 22 and 25 this week. I have moved up to 14 minutes.
On the 23rd day, I had good posture, I focused well and I fell asleep sitting at least four times. The tipping of my body as I drifted off woke me. I had an internal conversation with my brother about my choice of meditation time. I also berated myself for accepting an early meeting instead of asserting myself and proposing a new time.
On day 24, I focused very well on the counting and on my posture. I did almost fall asleep a couple of times, but the counting helps. Counting also helps identify loss of focus quickly. My posture felt good, but my left foot tingled sharply afterwards.
Day 26 challenged my posture. I found it difficult and my left knee ended up quite sore. My left foot fell asleep again. Every breath required conscious action unless I had a thought arise to distract me. When thoughts did come up, I pushed them away as soon as I noticed them.
Noticing thoughts took about three seconds. My thoughts included planning a document review for work, flashes of Joseph's story from Genesis, the idea that enlightenment comes from a clear balance between conscious and unconscious minds, and the idea "no-self" actually means the unconscious.
Those who know me will recognize the freakishness of me having any biblical thoughts. What happened there? I have started reviewing the bible using a Masonic bible and special Masonic study plan. Both have passed down my family for the last four generations. That has to have led to the biblical thoughts.
I focused and counted with ease on day 27. But I absolutely could not breathe without doing it consciously and deliberately. My posture felt good from the waist down. My upper back and my sternocleidomastoid muscles stayed tight and uncomfortable throughout.
In the next room my wife watched CNN. The anchorwoman's voice conjured up brief, unbidden, erotic imagery. I could easily recognize these as thoughts arising and let them go. And this helped me see how many of my thoughts trigger off environmental stimuli.
But what do I do about this conscious breathing thing?
I missed days 22 and 25 this week. I have moved up to 14 minutes.
On the 23rd day, I had good posture, I focused well and I fell asleep sitting at least four times. The tipping of my body as I drifted off woke me. I had an internal conversation with my brother about my choice of meditation time. I also berated myself for accepting an early meeting instead of asserting myself and proposing a new time.
On day 24, I focused very well on the counting and on my posture. I did almost fall asleep a couple of times, but the counting helps. Counting also helps identify loss of focus quickly. My posture felt good, but my left foot tingled sharply afterwards.
Day 26 challenged my posture. I found it difficult and my left knee ended up quite sore. My left foot fell asleep again. Every breath required conscious action unless I had a thought arise to distract me. When thoughts did come up, I pushed them away as soon as I noticed them.
Noticing thoughts took about three seconds. My thoughts included planning a document review for work, flashes of Joseph's story from Genesis, the idea that enlightenment comes from a clear balance between conscious and unconscious minds, and the idea "no-self" actually means the unconscious.
Those who know me will recognize the freakishness of me having any biblical thoughts. What happened there? I have started reviewing the bible using a Masonic bible and special Masonic study plan. Both have passed down my family for the last four generations. That has to have led to the biblical thoughts.
I focused and counted with ease on day 27. But I absolutely could not breathe without doing it consciously and deliberately. My posture felt good from the waist down. My upper back and my sternocleidomastoid muscles stayed tight and uncomfortable throughout.
In the next room my wife watched CNN. The anchorwoman's voice conjured up brief, unbidden, erotic imagery. I could easily recognize these as thoughts arising and let them go. And this helped me see how many of my thoughts trigger off environmental stimuli.
But what do I do about this conscious breathing thing?
20 September 2011
Exploring Tibetan Meditation - Assignment #3
My sinuses almost suffocated me this week. Once I started focusing on slow,
deep inhales that I could feel down to my perineum, I found my focus
zero-ed in. I did lose count often, though.
I had some dark days this week. I wonder if they fall into the "dark night" category Daniel Ingram describes. I missed three days. I focused on both counting and posture this week.
I mostly noticed my breathing, my posture and the tension in my tongue root. I also mentally unpacked from our move, and I caught myself visualizing martial arts workouts.
I think my thighs and knees angle too high. I need to move my seat up about four inches relative to my butt.
I waited long enough between the assignment and blogging that I remember very little else.
I had some dark days this week. I wonder if they fall into the "dark night" category Daniel Ingram describes. I missed three days. I focused on both counting and posture this week.
I mostly noticed my breathing, my posture and the tension in my tongue root. I also mentally unpacked from our move, and I caught myself visualizing martial arts workouts.
I think my thighs and knees angle too high. I need to move my seat up about four inches relative to my butt.
I waited long enough between the assignment and blogging that I remember very little else.
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