When you drop a stone in a pond, ripples radiate outward from the centre. A tree that falls in the forest also radiates waves of vibration outward. The falling tree changes the sunlight available to nearby plants and, of course, the tree body decays.
Life works exactly the same way. Within each moment, previous moments have left their traces. Someone who pays attention can perceive these traces. The more traces you perceive, the more you can incorporate the needs of the moment into the moment. Those needs include your own.
So, when you achieve enlightenment, you perceive (see, hear, smell, taste, feel, etc) the broad field of the moment until you need to focus on specifics. Your awareness stays in peripheral mode. If you need to identify a detail or remember something specific, you zero in on the information you want.
You feel pain, fear, excitement, pleasure and all the primary emotions. You have not become a god. You still have needs, wants and goals. You simply discard distractions as they arise and concentrate your attention into the top priority of now. You rest in empty awareness.
But...
"Now" contains the traces of the past and the future. If you know where you want to go, you can spot the subtle signs of the route forward. And you can identify the obstacles from the past you have carried into this moment.
If you just want to enjoy the journey, you will find the seeds right now. And if you really pay attention, you can see the same things for everyone involved in the moment with you.
When you shift freely between focused, peripheral, internal and external awareness and include a balance of the needs of the moment and your own needs, you're there.
Showing posts with label Dzogchen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dzogchen. Show all posts
11 October 2011
12 September 2011
Exploring Tibetan Meditation - Assignment #2
I feel proud of my reaction when I did lose concentration this week. In the past I would have berated myself. This time around, I found myself amused and somehow gentle with myself.
This week I counted breaths. That takes me back to the second meditaiton technique I ever learned. 31 years later, I start again. The assignment use a much higher number than back then, though.
My first day went fairly easily. With my clogged sinuses, and a timer set for 10 minutes, I only made it through three cycles of counting before the timer went. The sinuses make me breathe so slowly I can feel my brain down-shifting. I concetrated throughout with only one lost count.
Day two flew by like day one. The soft chimes of the alarm almost startled me.
Day three came after several hours of packing to move. And that came after working all day. My exhaustion crushed my concentration. I never made it past the count of eight. And that made the time crawl like a one-legged ant trying to cross a pool of honey.
Day four we moved. We worked harder than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. I fell into bed without meditating.
Day five I waited until quite late again. My concentration staggered at first, but I found my focus and finished without losing track again.
Day six eased by with clear sinuses, good focus and a seated position so comfortable I almost fell asleep sitting. I might do better meditating a bit earlier. I probably would function better if I went to bed earlier, too.
This week I counted breaths. That takes me back to the second meditaiton technique I ever learned. 31 years later, I start again. The assignment use a much higher number than back then, though.
My first day went fairly easily. With my clogged sinuses, and a timer set for 10 minutes, I only made it through three cycles of counting before the timer went. The sinuses make me breathe so slowly I can feel my brain down-shifting. I concetrated throughout with only one lost count.
Day two flew by like day one. The soft chimes of the alarm almost startled me.
Day three came after several hours of packing to move. And that came after working all day. My exhaustion crushed my concentration. I never made it past the count of eight. And that made the time crawl like a one-legged ant trying to cross a pool of honey.
Day four we moved. We worked harder than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. I fell into bed without meditating.
Day five I waited until quite late again. My concentration staggered at first, but I found my focus and finished without losing track again.
Day six eased by with clear sinuses, good focus and a seated position so comfortable I almost fell asleep sitting. I might do better meditating a bit earlier. I probably would function better if I went to bed earlier, too.
05 September 2011
Spiritual Bushwacking
Three Minutes without Air
I'll go with awareness for my highest priority focus. Meditation in action seems the best tool for this. What type? I don't know yet. I have started researching Dzogchen, and I have practised zazen and vipassana for several years each. I've also benefited from meditations taught by Jack Schwarz and ones from Stephen Hayes.
This begins my adaptation of physical survival's rule of threes to the spiritual journey.
This article inspired my thinking. I realized I want, and need, some specific tools to help me over some inherent obstacles I face. But...
I know I do not want to blaze a new trail for others to follow. I don't care if anyone follows me. Sure, I would find it cool to have people follow me, but I don't really care.
And I don't have any interest in going where others went. I want my own personal Star Trek. I want to go where no one has gone before.
I recognize the importance of having the right skills, tools and kit for the journey. So I will collect my metaphorical water, knife, fire-making tools, shelter-making knowledge and whatever else I find I need along the way.
I do have to figure out what those actually are.
Returning to the rule of threes I continue with:
Three Hours without Shelter
I have to go with sleep as next. Sleep deprivation will destabilize my system too much.
Three Days without Water
Since I believe in no difference between body and mind, I choose movement for third priority.
Three Weeks without Food
Next, I choose human contact. Like Erving Goffman, I believe the self emerges from interaction. And without interaction with others, I can never discover shenpa to work on.
Three Months without Hope
Contribution comes fifth. I do not want to go long without contributing to my context (group, location, organizations, economy). If I don't contribute, I don't earn. "No work, no eating."
Three Years without Purpose
I disagree with this survival rule. I don't think anyone has a purpose. Life has no inherent meaning, except, perhaps reproduction. And I refuse to step on that treadmill.
Who has other ideas?
31 August 2011
Exploring Tibetan Meditation
My first meditation session on this new course, I had a few thoughts about work, a clump of cat hair moved like a
scorpion and caused a quick thrill of fear and I kept wondering if I had
my eyelids and eye focus correct. Aside from a few moments of
impatience, the eight minutes flew by.
Now I face the challenge to do it every day this week. I hope to record my experiences here as I go.
As part of my journey, I have decided to work through a Tibetan-based meditation course from arobuddhism.org. The course itself comes from aromeditation.org. I plan to track my progress as I go.
What led me to pursue this course emerged out of a combination of events. First, I resolved to improve my distress tolerance skills. Second, I read some very interesting ideas about Dzogchen. That evolved out of reading this article (http://meaningness.wordpress.com/2011/08/12/effing-the-ineffable/).
The idea of enjoying whatever arises, good, bad or ugly fully, completely and releasing attachment as I go appeals to me. That may completely misrepresent the Aro Buddhist system, and, if so, I will clarify my understanding as I go.
My first meditation session took eight minutes (my choice). My posture stayed fairly erect and and relaxed. And my posture also occupied the majority of my thoughts.
Day two produced a different effect. I set my timer for eight minutes again. (Once I develop a consistent habit, then I will look at adding time)
I started running through future, possible conversations. I caught myself, relaxed my tongue, and went back to listening. This happened several times. I started noting my tongue would tighten up to almost clenched. I relaxed it whenever that happened, and suddenly the timer went off.
The time flew by. I ended feeling soft, calm and easy. I quite like the feeling.
Day three, though exhausted, I still meditated. I didn't get to it until midnight, rather than around 17:00. I felt burning and tension in my lower thoracic back which I found distracting. And my tongue kept clenching up from the root toward the tip. I noticed a correlation between the tongue tension and rehearsing conversations.
I held day three's imaginary conversations with an Aro buddhist teacher in Montana, Alexander Berzin and the local Winnipeg Rinpoche. I explained to the teacher why I wanted to study with him, argued with Alexander Berzin about something he said in a recording I listened to four years ago, and asked the local Rinpoche to let me join his classes.
I kept catching myself early in the conversations and returned my attention to my neck, posture and the darkness of my eyelids. Eventually, I switched to composing VBA code for migration scheduling. I redirected my attention back to now and then the timer went off.
I felt more awake than when I started this third session. I also felt more solidly within my body.
On day four I didn't get to my meditation session until almost 1:00 am. The tension in my tongue-root seems to recur as a theme. My seated posture felt nice and solid in all other respects. And no burning in the thoracic region this time.
I caught myself in the middle of an imaginary conversation with the Kansas members of my team. They had challenged my wife's integrity. I had responded that "if she said the sky was green with purple polka dots, I would assume some unusual atmospheric phenomenon had occurred."
Once I recovered my awareness, I found my attention on my breathing. My sinuses had swollen and clogged nearly closed. I had to breathe at a glacial pace to maintain my breathing. Even so, I found myself more and more relaxed and calm.
The timer surprised me when it went off. I felt aware, relaxed and calm. I like how this affects me so far.
Day five I resisted until I got into the bedroom. Then I simply set my zafu on my zabuton, settled onto the cushion and started the timer.
Of course, the tongue-root tension re-appeared. And my clogged sinuses required very slow deep breathing again.
Because of my slow breathing, I found it easy to bring my concentration back to my breathing. Most of my focus stayed on my breath anyway.
Right at the beginning I felt some very demanding, sharp itches on my face. I struggled to ignore them, and eventually they disappeared.
At the end, I felt the usual calm and centred feeling.
Day six I forgot to note my start time. My sinuses had improved and I had comfortable posture.
I drifted early into deciding where I would use for my memory palace. I settled on my high school. I even started planning the layout of what I would put where. I finally redirected my attention back to now at that point.
Next, I felt a strong, sharp itch in my ankle. I left it alone and it faded after a minute or so.
I slipped into a shameful event from my youth on the farm. That triggered memories of my theories inward and outward forms of meditation versus trance respectively. I wondered if the Tibetan Buddhist drills and skills cover the same ideas.
Overall, I had long thinking periods before I returned to now. I did end feeling very calm and solid.
Day seven I missed my session. I worked nearly 21 straight hours through to after 6:00 am the next day and then crashed hard.
Now I face the challenge to do it every day this week. I hope to record my experiences here as I go.
As part of my journey, I have decided to work through a Tibetan-based meditation course from arobuddhism.org. The course itself comes from aromeditation.org. I plan to track my progress as I go.
What led me to pursue this course emerged out of a combination of events. First, I resolved to improve my distress tolerance skills. Second, I read some very interesting ideas about Dzogchen. That evolved out of reading this article (http://meaningness.wordpress.com/2011/08/12/effing-the-ineffable/).
The idea of enjoying whatever arises, good, bad or ugly fully, completely and releasing attachment as I go appeals to me. That may completely misrepresent the Aro Buddhist system, and, if so, I will clarify my understanding as I go.
My first meditation session took eight minutes (my choice). My posture stayed fairly erect and and relaxed. And my posture also occupied the majority of my thoughts.
Day two produced a different effect. I set my timer for eight minutes again. (Once I develop a consistent habit, then I will look at adding time)
I started running through future, possible conversations. I caught myself, relaxed my tongue, and went back to listening. This happened several times. I started noting my tongue would tighten up to almost clenched. I relaxed it whenever that happened, and suddenly the timer went off.
The time flew by. I ended feeling soft, calm and easy. I quite like the feeling.
Day three, though exhausted, I still meditated. I didn't get to it until midnight, rather than around 17:00. I felt burning and tension in my lower thoracic back which I found distracting. And my tongue kept clenching up from the root toward the tip. I noticed a correlation between the tongue tension and rehearsing conversations.
I held day three's imaginary conversations with an Aro buddhist teacher in Montana, Alexander Berzin and the local Winnipeg Rinpoche. I explained to the teacher why I wanted to study with him, argued with Alexander Berzin about something he said in a recording I listened to four years ago, and asked the local Rinpoche to let me join his classes.
I kept catching myself early in the conversations and returned my attention to my neck, posture and the darkness of my eyelids. Eventually, I switched to composing VBA code for migration scheduling. I redirected my attention back to now and then the timer went off.
I felt more awake than when I started this third session. I also felt more solidly within my body.
On day four I didn't get to my meditation session until almost 1:00 am. The tension in my tongue-root seems to recur as a theme. My seated posture felt nice and solid in all other respects. And no burning in the thoracic region this time.
I caught myself in the middle of an imaginary conversation with the Kansas members of my team. They had challenged my wife's integrity. I had responded that "if she said the sky was green with purple polka dots, I would assume some unusual atmospheric phenomenon had occurred."
Once I recovered my awareness, I found my attention on my breathing. My sinuses had swollen and clogged nearly closed. I had to breathe at a glacial pace to maintain my breathing. Even so, I found myself more and more relaxed and calm.
The timer surprised me when it went off. I felt aware, relaxed and calm. I like how this affects me so far.
Day five I resisted until I got into the bedroom. Then I simply set my zafu on my zabuton, settled onto the cushion and started the timer.
Of course, the tongue-root tension re-appeared. And my clogged sinuses required very slow deep breathing again.
Because of my slow breathing, I found it easy to bring my concentration back to my breathing. Most of my focus stayed on my breath anyway.
Right at the beginning I felt some very demanding, sharp itches on my face. I struggled to ignore them, and eventually they disappeared.
At the end, I felt the usual calm and centred feeling.
Day six I forgot to note my start time. My sinuses had improved and I had comfortable posture.
I drifted early into deciding where I would use for my memory palace. I settled on my high school. I even started planning the layout of what I would put where. I finally redirected my attention back to now at that point.
Next, I felt a strong, sharp itch in my ankle. I left it alone and it faded after a minute or so.
I slipped into a shameful event from my youth on the farm. That triggered memories of my theories inward and outward forms of meditation versus trance respectively. I wondered if the Tibetan Buddhist drills and skills cover the same ideas.
Overall, I had long thinking periods before I returned to now. I did end feeling very calm and solid.
Day seven I missed my session. I worked nearly 21 straight hours through to after 6:00 am the next day and then crashed hard.
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